I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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