Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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