the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Randomize
