I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
