No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize