do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
