I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
