I bet he comes in French.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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