I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
