we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
