It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
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