The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
