the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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