there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
