maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
