can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
