I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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