it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
