how can u be prego again
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
