I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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