Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
