I will die if light touches me.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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