ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
