If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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