I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
