he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
