Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
