alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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