Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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