My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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