I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
