Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize