the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
My vagina is officially offended.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize