the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
My feet surprised me
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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