the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
