so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize