I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
