I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
