the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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