Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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