I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
