I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
