Why are handjobs necessary in class?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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