that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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