I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
