Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
