ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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