she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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