Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize