He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Randomize
