The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
