I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
