He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
