porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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