Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
We need a shit load of segways right now
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
