How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
