Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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