Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
