Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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