You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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