we're blogging at a bar
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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