Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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