.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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