I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Randomize
