That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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