She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
