goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
