I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
