he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
