the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
